Pregnancy is a life changing experience. Your body is changing, your mindset is different. You can’t see your feet. The worry. How do you make the shift from not being a parent to all of a sudden having a huge responsibility? We turn to Rose, a mum of two who tells us her story of what it’s like. The real truth about pregnancy!
My name is Rose. I am 22, I have a daughter who is just over two, and a son who is just over three weeks old. I live with my other half who I’ve been with for four years.
Getting down and dirty, I’ll start with what I’ve found hard about being a mummy.
So bit of back story, I found out I was pregnant at the age of nineteen. As you can imagine it was a shock. Already having the label of “young mum” I did get a lot of dirty looks, when out about with my big baby belly.
Looking back now, I don’t see why me and my partner were shocked as we weren’t trying to prevent a pregnancy (silly, maybe but she’s the best thing to happen to us). I had a feeling I was pregnant before I’d even missed a period! Then confirmed it when I was a day late by doing a test. I wasn’t happy but also wasn’t upset by this news. I felt pretty numb and the only thing I could think about was telling my parents. We didn’t tell them till I was 3 months gone. Of course I decided to carry on with the pregnancy and we had our beautiful daughter!
My pregnancy was very easy, my birth was beautiful
We struggled with trying to find a place to live, money, jobs, maternity pay, being a new couple about to have a baby etc. But, we made it and recently extended our family!
My second pregnancy I found a lot harder. The symptoms and looking after a toddler for me was very challenging. I was very ready to have my baby, I didn’t enjoy the pregnancy towards the end. I was very big, I had pelvis pain/back ache, I was always sleepy and moody. Time would vanish as I had my daughter to take care of. Pregnancy was hard work!
I’m glad I had them close in age but it was exhausting taking care of a toddler, who doesn’t nap, and being heavily pregnant! As soon as my waters broke I was relieved. I knew it was all over soon, I could walk properly again and I was about to meet my little man! That may sound so selfish but I think once you’re in that situation you can’t really imagine how hard it is. If I had a pregnancy like my daughters, I probably would of coped better. No pregnancy is the same!
I found breastfeeding very challenging
Both times after giving birth, I found breastfeeding very challenging! I had always said I will feed my babies, but there was plenty of times I could of given up! My daughter is tongue tied (we decided not to get it cut) and my son needed some osteopathy treatment following a very fast birth. I refused to give up though probably due to how stubborn I am!
Breastfeeding is something I’m extremely passionate about. I am a breastfeeding peer supporter, I have done my training. I fed my daughter and now im feeding my son. The reason I became a peer supporter, was because when I struggled with both my babies I had my mum for support. I feel without the help and support from my mum, I would of given up very quickly! I felt I wanted to give back. I’d learnt a lot from my mum. When I was given the opportunity to do my training, I jumped at the chance! Helping other mummy’s feed their babies is very rewarding to me.
We were having this baby
Kids put a lot of pressure on your relationship! Myself & my partner had only been together for a year when I fell pregnant. We were both living at home, we liked to go out on the weekends, my partner was starting a course at university. So, finding out we were going to be parents was a very scary time for us. When I said I’ll be keeping the baby, my partner didn’t even hesitate to agree with me. We were having this baby, now we just had to figure out how we were going to pay for this baby. Where we were going to live? How we would pay our bills? This part actually brought us closer together.
You forget you need couple time too!
We eventually had our own space and was getting ready to become a family. It wasn’t until our daughter was born, the sleepless nights, the lack of time for each other really does affect the relationship. We have had plenty of arguments but you have to tell yourself it’s just a part of life. It’s a hard patch, things will get better and they do get better. I may want to shout & scream at him but talking things out, even in heated discussions really does help and date nights are very important! I’m not just talking about expensive meals out etc. Just a takeaway when the kids are in bed and a film on the sofa is what I’m talking about, you forget you need couple time too!
Being a parent comes with good and bad days. I enjoy at least one thing each day. Be that my daughter learning a new word, having a cuddle with them on the sofa, my son didn’t poo through a brand new outfit or I managed to get some housework done! I try to find at least one good thing in each day. Even the most rubbish days each day brings a new “good thing” something enjoyable, some may be small and others a precious memory I’ll always treasure!
Social media can be a very scary place, defiantly for new mums!
I have met some amazing parents throughout my pregnancies and while being a mum. I have made many friendships on social media, mainly Instagram and Facebook. I’m very thankful to say I’ve come across more nicer people then horrible ones. Social media can be a very scary place, defiantly for new mums! Facebook parenting groups can be very brutal and harsh at times, a lot of judging, debates, pettiness. I’ve left many due to this. Instagram personally has been nicer but I’ve seen a lot of accounts attacked! Being a women, who went to an all girls school I know how mean girls can be, but when it comes to social media I feel it can be worse then just a playground argument. Some women go too far which makes me worry about social media.
As a parent I’ve started to worry a lot more about things I never thought about before. One thing being – climate change. You hear on the news, see articles on online, in the papers all about climate change but recently I’ve been thinking “what does this mean for my children?” What kind of earth will my kids have to live on? There isn’t a planet B, this is it. I really feel if things don’t improve real soon then our kids future isn’t looking too great, and that terrifies me! I’ve started making small changes to everyday life, for example trying to use less plastic, recycling, trying to reduce my waste. Every little bit counts, I just hope it’s enough!
There isn’t a planet B!
Nothing prepares you for parenthood. There’s only so much you can research you can do. You can try to prepare yourself, but actually looking after a child is so rewarding yet challenging. Like I said you have good and bad days, some more then others but that’s okay! Because even if they don’t admit it every mother has bad days, it’s a part of growing and learning with your kids. No ones perfect, we are all winging it, babies don’t come with handbooks unfortunately! But just know you’re not alone. You got this!
If you would like to keep up with Rose and her beautiful little family , you can follow her on Instagram.
How do you find parenting? Do you worry about climate change? Have you changed your habits for the good of the planet? Maybe you have experience with pregnancy? We would love to hear from you. Contact us with your story.