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The journey of parenthood; the good, the bad and the ugly!

The journey of parenthood

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Parenthood is never easy. You are always on your toes, trying to do the best job of bring up little people to be the best big people they can be! We loved hearing story about the challenges she has faced, and her love for her daughters.
Shes hit the nail on the head with her experience of the journey of parenthood. Its good, its bad and truly truly ugly!
Here is story.
Nothing quite prepares you for the highs and the lows of parenthood. Only those that experience it can really relate. I love being a mum, but it’s also bloody hard work! I have two girls, one who has just turned five and a three and a half year old. There are about 19 months between them, an age gap I wanted as it’s similar to myself and my younger sister. The theory behind it being they would have a good relationship because of their closeness in age. Also, I’d get all the nappies, disturbed nights etc. over and done with!
Both births were pretty straight forward, I had pethidine and gas and air with both. No apologies there-you do whatever you do to get through birthing a child, judgement be damned! I breastfed both girls and they were very good at latching despite my second having mild tongue-tie. I exclusively breastfed Sienna (the eldest) until she was about 4 months. We added in a night time bottle so that I could go to bed and her dad could do a feed. But with Scarlett, it was a bit earlier as we suspected she had some kind of reflux and bottles seemed to help.
Looking back, I guess it could have been related to her tongue-tie, yet the midwives didn’t seem too worried about it. So, I put up with the screaming and not being able to settle her during the infamous ‘witching hour’. I wouldn’t say that I ‘enjoyed’ breastfeeding and it did feel like getting a bit of freedom back when bottles were introduced.

  ‘the journey of parenthood; the good, the bad and the ugly!’

I do wish I had the access to other mums that I have now, not just through my own friendships groups but the social media mums that I’ve connected with. Social media gets a bad rep, but I’ve found it to be very supportive since starting my page . It gives you a platform to openly and honestly chat about the journey of parenthood; the good, the bad and the ugly! It’s also made me feel much more confident about myself, my body and the fact that parenting is not all plain sailing. Kids can test you like you’ve never been tested before and it’s ok to want a break; we need this to stay sane and to actually be a good parent. No-one can perform perfectly all the time so why do we put ourselves under pressure to do so as parents?
I love hearing stories about how ‘little Charlie’ has drawn over the walls or thrown baked beans everywhere. It’s makes me realise that all kids are crazy, unpredictable beings. But, that’s also why we love them right?! It makes you want to do everything and anything you can for them. Try to give them the best grounding for growing up. To nurture them to be kind, accepting, non-judgemental human beings, and to make the world a better place for them. The online world has also helped with this, and given me ideas and resources as to how to ensure diversity is a part of our everyday life.
In our household, we love and treasure books. This is one of the ways that I try to expose the girls to the idea of being a mindful, responsible and respectful person. We have books that depict different cultures, ethnicity, sexuality, families etc. As a single parent, I want the girls to understand that not all families, for example, look the same. The love that they share is.

‘The love that they share is’

The girls have never questioned why myself and their dad are not together. They know that us not being together has nothing to do with them. I have a positive relationship with their dad and encourage relationships with his side of the family as this is part of their identity. They are mainly around white children, due to the area of Suffolk that we live. Being around the black side of their family is something that I see as very important. Their dad was born in Portugal, but his parents are from Cape Verde so he talks to them in Portuguese and a Portuguese Creole. They also watch Portuguese cartoons and have dual language books.
Being from a quiet and pretty rural part of the country, I think it’s even more important to make sure that they have exposure to all the wonderful people that make up the world. How being an individual is something to celebrate not to be scared of. Variety is the spice of life, as they say! I am doing the best that I can, as we all are. Know that we are all in the same boat and that the ride can be rocky but there will be lulls and it’s a fantastic journey to part of (seasickness aside!).

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How do you find parenting the stress and pressure that comes with it? Do you worry about climate change?  Maybe you have experience with having a IVF baby? We would love to hear from you. Contact us with your story.

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