Being A Parent Doesn’t Have To Define Who You Are As A Person

We love Mariah’s story. She shares her excitements, her disappointments and fears of parenthood. All of us at some point have craved more time with our little one, just the two of us! The most human thing to do is to tell a story. Over to Mariah to tell hers.

Motherhood will change your as a person

Being a parent must be one of the hardest and unpredictable things I have ever done in my life. However, it is hands down the best thing I have ever done in my life too. No one tells you that you will change as a person or that you will lose yourself a bit. One day you’re a pregnant person, the next you’re a mum. You completely forget who you were before all this. Your whole life changes in a second.

But I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, even the pain.

Being a parent doesn’t have to define who you are as a person

My little boy is soon to be 7 months old and I can’t believe how fast maternity has gone! I don’t want it to end. There were times when I’ve struggled and got very stressed and wished the time away so that I can escape to work. I love being a mum. I wouldn’t change a thing, but we can be ourselves too, not just a mum. Being a parent doesn’t have to define who you are as a person.

‘I wouldn’t change a thing, but we can be ourselves too, not just a mum’

My birthing experience wasn’t what I had hoped for, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. It went so fast! Even though I was in labour for 43 hours in total. To relieve pain, I had paracetamol tablets, would you believe, and gas & air for the best part of it. Labour wasn’t progressing, even after being on an induction drip for 12 hours, and I was getting exhausted, so I had an emergency cesarean.

Emergency caesarean: I felt robbed of my birthing experience

Although it was the best experience of my life, it was also a weird one. For a while I felt like I was robbed of my birthing experience because I didn’t feel I worked hard enough to deliver my boy, but he just wouldn’t engage so had to come out ‘the sunroof’ instead. I felt like I was pregnant one minute, led on a table behind a green curtain and then suddenly, my baby was handed to me. I cried with joy, like every other mother, the moment he was put in my arms. Then in the hospital, I like to think we bonded a lot because it was just us.

When we got home and people came to visit or we visited people, he was being passed around like a show baby. The only time I got a look in was when he needed feeding, as I breastfed exclusively for a month, then off he went again. I didn’t want to seem like the mythical controlling mother that our families always talk about, so I left them to it to seem like I was okay.

I was unable to bond with my baby for a long time

It resulted in me unable to bond with my baby for a long time. This really upset me because he’s my first baby. But now, I can really feel the love he has for me and I have for him and I’m so sad maternity must come to an end.  I feel like I’m only just starting to get the hang of things and enjoy it. When we have another baby, I am making sure that for the first 2 weeks at least. We have no interruptions, I want my time. Post-natal depression is real, and you shouldn’t ignore it. I suffer with anxiety anyway so this didn’t help matters as you can imagine.

‘Being a parent is just one aspect of who you are’

I absolutely love being a new mum and I want more children already, but I won’t lie to you, it’s challenging, not just for you but your relationship too. Make sure you make time for you as a couple to be a couple, and not just parents because that is so important for not only your relationship but your mental health too. Being a parent is just one aspect of who you are.  I love date nights with my husband, I get to dress up and feel like me again. I hope in some way, someone can relate and know they’re not alone.

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